Family Matters
by idontknowmaybe
Summary: One shots affiliated with It Matter's How This Ends and It Still Matters -Sebastian and Finley are growing up and Beca and Chloe are trying to deal with it- Rated M for adult themes and for bad words.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh yeah. Right there. Don't stop. Fuck me daddy. Fuck me. Oh yeah."

"Please tell me you don't think that's how it really is." Finley said as she pushed the door open to her brother's room. "Real sex is nothing like that dude." She laughed.

Bash turned away from his computer screen and towards his sister. "Well, I wouldn't know." He said frustrated.

Finley crawled up on the bed next to her brother as the raunchy porn played on his mac. She tilted her head to the right and grimaced. "That looks painful." She said as she watched the two people on the screen.

"You mean, girls don't like it when you do that?" Bash asked as he turned back to the screen.

"Would you like it if your ass cheeks were spread over some weird wood railing while some juiced up muscle man tried to fuck you over the edge of the rail and to you death in the forest below?" Finley asked as she described the unrealistic scene.

Sebastian laughed, "Probably not."

The two returned their attention back to the screen in front of them.

"Girl troubles?" Finley asked her younger brother.

He shrugged and sighed as he reached forward to push the forward button on his screen making the two adult performers move hilariously in fast forward. "Freshman Prom's in 2 weeks and I just want to be ready in case Kelly, you know, wants too."

Finley tried to contain her laugh. She leant over and bumped her brother's shoulder. "She's not gonna want to sleep with you kid." She teased.

Sebastian stopped the forward movement as the next scene began. A busty brunette woman was in the shower with soap running down her body, her hands roaming everywhere as the classic porn music played in the background.

"Why not?" He scoffed clearly offended by his sister's comments.

"Cuz you're a dork bro." Finley teased.

"Whatever" He mumbled under his breath as the brunette in the shower was joined by another woman.

"Oh no. Fuck that. Change that shit" Finley yelled.

He reached forward for his computer quickly fumbling for the correct key.

"Oh my god, that could be our moms. I don't want to see that!" Finley yelled as she covered her eyes from the screen.

"Hey guys, come on. We are supposed to be" Beca said as she pushed the door open to her son's room.

Finley and Sebastian froze. Beca looked between them as she heard the moaning coming from the computer.

"Dude" Finley said elbowing her brother who jumped into action again and reached for the top of the computer and slammed it shut.

Once the image had disappeared from her eyes she slowly felt her heart begin to start beating again. She could feel a single drop of sweat form on her forehead and begin to slide down her face. Her mouth was dry and she was having trouble forming thoughts that could lead to words and eventually into a sentence.

"Hey. Mom." Finley said trying to break the ice. "What's up?" She asked nonchalantly.

The two kids looked at their mother who was short circuiting in front of them. Of course she would be the one to catch them and not their other mother who wouldn't be standing frozen in shock.

Finley glanced at her brother who was in the same statue like state as their mother. She rolled her eyes and pushed herself from the bed. "Tonight's the night we are meeting up with mom on set?" She asked as she walked towards Beca.

Beca slowly nodded in response unable to take her eyes of the closed laptop laying on her youngest son's bed.

"Then we better get going right?" Finley asked. "Don't want to be late now do we?" She said as she turned her mother by the shoulders and began to push her out of the room. She looked back over her shoulder to her brother who hadn't moved and hadn't blinked since he slammed the computer top down. "Get ready loser. Be down in 20 minutes." She ordered.

Once out in the hall way she turned Beca back around by the shoulders. "Now mom." She began in a soothing voice. "It's not what you're thinking." Finley said calmly. "I mean, I don't actually know what you're thinking because you're being like super freaky right now. But it's all good. Bash was just watching some good old fashion porn prepping for prom with Kelly. So you know, he could have sex with her." Finley explained as if it were nothing. "Unless that's what you were thinking when you walked in. If so, then it's exactly what you're thinking."

Beca's heard her daughter's voice and listened to her explanation and it didn't make her feel better. Her baby boy was thinking about having sex.

"But don't worry. I explained to him that that is not how most sex is. It's usually much quicker and less theatrical. At least in my experience anyway." Finley shrugged. The horrified look on her mother's face five seconds ago was nothing compared to the wide eyed expression Beca was now wearing after learning that her oldest daughter had been having sex. "Okay." Finley said awkwardly. "I'm gonna go get ready. Good talk mom." She said as he quickly walked past her mother and towards her bedroom.

 **XxXxXx**

Chloe smiled as she was Finley walking through the crowd. Her daughter waived back at her as she walked quickly towards her. Chloe caught a glimpse of Sebastian and Beca not far behind. The expression on both her wife and son's face worried her.

"Hey mom" Finley said as she reached the redheaded actress.

"Hi baby." Chloe greeted. She pulled her tall daughter in for a hug. "What's going on with those two?" Chloe asked pushing back from her daughter.

Finley widened her eyes and shrugged her shoulders, opting not to tell her mom about what happened at home and about the silent car ride from the house to the movie studio.

"Bash?" Chloe asked as her son reached her.

He immediately fell into her arms needing to be soothed from his traumatic afternoon. He was so much like Beca, it was scary. He could be moody and awkward. He could be the sweetest boy at times but liked to pretend he didn't have a big heart and when he was stressed out or worried, he always sought the comfort of Chloe's arms. The same as Beca did. He immediately relaxed for the first time in hours as he felt her hug him tightly. "Hi mom." He whispered softly.

"You okay baby?" She asked as she eyed a very nervous music producer across the room at the bar ordering a drink.

"Yeah." He said a little too quickly.

"Okay" Chloe sang. She turned to both her kids, "What's going on guys?"

"Nothing." Finley answered quickly.

"Why are you acting so weird?" Chloe asked. She looked from Finley towards Sebastian who she knew would crack first. He always did.

"We're not acting weird mom." Finley answered again. She looked to her brother who looked like he was about to burst. "We're gonna go find some cool people to hang out with. It's not cool to hang with your parents." Finley said teasingly as she pulled her brother by the arm away from the redhead.

Chloe turned back towards Beca who had a shot glass in her hand and her head tipped all the way back. "What the hell?" Chloe asked herself as she looked from between her kids to her wife. She made her way through the room, hugging some people and waiving at others, until she got to the bar. "Getting drunk at my wrap party?" She said as she bumped into Beca's shoulder playfully.

Beca was able to drain 3 shots since she made it to the bar and she was starting to feel better. She felt Chloe slide up next to her. She smelled the redhead's perfume. And she turned just in time to catch her wife's flirty wink. "I walked in on the kids watching porn." She said loudly as she slammed the small glass down on the wooden bar top.

Chloe felt the eyes of her co-workers on them instantly. She smiled and then turned back to Beca. "What?" She asked in a hushed tone.

"I walked in on them watching porn in Bash's room." Beca said as she titled her head towards the bar tender who filled up the glass again. "Apparently" She paused as she tossed her fourth shot back. "Bash wanted to know what sex is like so they watched fucking porn Chloe." Beca explained quickly. And thankfully much quieter. "And Finley" She said loudly as she remembered but lowered her voice when she saw the look Chloe gave her. Beca leaned closer to her wife to whisper, "Finley explained to him that porn wasn't a good example of how sex really is." Beca shook her head as she remembered, "in her experience."

It made sense to Chloe now. She reached for Beca's shot glass and held it up to the bartender.

"I think she told her" Bash whispered as they watched their parents from across the room.

"No shit Sherlock" Finley replied as she watched Chloe take a shot.

"I'm so dead." Bash mumbled to himself.

"You?" Finley questioned loudly. Some of the other people around them paused their conversations to look at her. "Sup?" She said with a head nod. After those people returned to their conversations she turned back to her brother. "I totally told mom that I was having sex with Brady." Finley winced. "Not in those words exactly but she knows." Finley's eyes widened quickly, "Oh god. She's going to kill him." She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone.

"I'm going to fucking kill the Swanson kid." Beca seethed at the bar.

"No you're not." Chloe said trying to calm her wife. "It will be okay Becs."

"Okay?" Beca questioned. "That boy is sleeping with our daughter."

Chloe nodded slowly as she watched Beca let the information set in. "But he is a sweet boy. And they are using protection." Chloe said calmly.

Beca turned quickly. "You fucking knew?" She asked loudly.

"Okay. Calm down babe" Chloe said leaning towards her wife. "Yes" She whispered. "I knew. She needed to talk to someone about it and of course she came to me. Be glad she did Beca." Chloe said pulling back from her wife. "Otherwise neither of us would know she was active" Chloe said for lack of a better word in a public place. "This was going to happen sooner or later Beca." Chloe added. "For Bash too."

Beca turned away from her wife. She knew she was right but she didn't want to think of it.

"She's so pissed" Bash said as he chewed his thumbnail as he watched his mothers.

Finley slapped his hand from his mouth. "Stop that's gross." She said firmly.

"What does Brady say?" He asked turning to her sister who was holding her phone in her hand texting her boyfriend.

"He said that his mom doesn't know but that Uncle Jesse does." Finley answered.

Bash made a face, "Don't you think it's creepy that you refer to your boyfriend's dad as Uncle Jesse?" He asked teasingly.

"Well, now I do." Finley said turning away from her brother. "Oh no. Here they come."

Sebastian turned slowly back around to see his parent's a few steps away. He began to freeze up immediately.

"Okay you two. We need to talk." Chloe said calmly when she reached them.

"Is it safe?" Finley asked looking around the redhead to Beca whose expression was still of anger.

Chloe glanced behind her to her wife and rolled her eyes. "Beca?" She asked.

Beca swallowed and fixed her face the way her wife had told her to do before they began walking over. "Yes. It's safe." She mumbled.

"Let's go to my trailer" Chloe said to her kids and wife, knowing they would have some privacy to have a much needed family discussion.

The three followed Chloe back to her assigned trailer not far from the set the wrap party was being held at. Once inside Chloe pulled the door closed. She turned to find Bash and Fin sitting next to each other but her wife as far across the room as possible. But this time she didn't see anger in her wife's eyes. It was something else. Sadness? Embarrassment? Probably both.

"Okay." Chloe said as she walked across the room and linked her hand with Beca's. She pulled the brunette across the room to sit on an adjacent couch. She held tight to Beca hoping to offer her some comfort during the conversation she knew was going to be extremely uncomfortable and awkward for her wife. "Who wants to start?" She asked looking across to her two teenage kids.

Both kids quickly shook their heads.

"Okay. I'll start." Chloe said with a breath. "Sex is a normal part of life."

She felt Beca tense next to her. "When two people love each other" She said trying to romanticize it for Beca's sake or maybe her own sake, "they have a need to connect with each other on a deeper more physical level."

"Oh please" Beca scoffed next to her surprising Chloe and both her kids. "He was watching porn Chlo" Beca said pointing her finger towards the boy. All the shots were hitting her hard and she didn't seem to be having any more issues speaking about the topic. "I saw it. They" She said looking back at Finley, "were watching two girls get it on in the shower."

"No" Finley said sharply. "We were changing it because it reminded us of you guys." She argued loudly, "And that is too gross for words. Not two girls because you know I don't care about that," she was rambling, "It's just the thought of you going at each other like"

"Okay" Chloe said loudly cutting her daughter off trying to bail her out. "Everyone just take a breath." She said trying to calm the room. "Seriously Bash" She said looking at her son who was once again froze still. "Breath honey."

"The young man let out a breath."

"No one is in trouble." She said softly. "It's natural to be curious but why didn't you come to us honey?" Chloe asked the boy.

He shrugged. "Cuz you're girls" He mumbled. "You don't know what it's like."

"What what's like?" Beca slurred. "We've had sex with men." Beca informed her two kids who looked as uncomfortable as she felt. "Not at the same time, obviously"

Chloe put her hand on Beca's leg. "I don't think that's what he meant Becs. Let him speak." She said softly to her wife who was just realizing what she said.

"Being a guy with two moms and a sister and wondering about sex." He said plainly.

"No but" Chloe answered calmly. "We could have asked Uncle Jesse to talk with you." Chloe replied.

Beca cringed at the sound of her best friend's name. Her best friend whose son is sleeping with her teenage daughter. "Since when have you and Brady been?" She asked loudly interrupting Chloe and Sebastian moment.

"Since last year some time." Finley said fudging the truth a little bit. It was closer to a couple of years. She looked to her redheaded mother who seemed to be on the same page about the white lye.

"I'm going to kill that little shit" Beca cursed under her breath. She'd just seen him yesterday at the studio.

"Babe" Chloe said trying to calm Beca again.

"And you're entirely too fucking young" She said to her son.

"I'm not mom." He tried to argue. "All my friends are doing it."

"Okay." Chloe said as she stood getting everyone's attention. "Let's all just take a breath."

She could hear the loud breathing in the room and was about to speak but was surprised to be interrupted by a calm Beca.

"I know you guys are getting older." She said shaking her head. "And as much as I want to think of you two as my two little sweet babies forever, I know you're growing up. And I know you're doing and your curious about" She paused and swallowed hard, "things."

"Sex" Finley said interrupting her. It wasn't rude, she just wanted her mom to know she could say the word.

Beca shook her head. Finley reminded her so much of Quinn every day. The dark haired girl never failed to not challenge her in every opportunity available just like she was doing now.

"Sex" Beca mumbled reluctantly.

Chloe sat back trying to fight a smile that wanted to form on her face.

"So you're having it. With that twerp Brady Swanson." Beca said quickly.

"Mom" Finley said turning her dark brown eyes towards Chloe.

"Babe" She softly reprimanded her wife.

"You're being safe?" Beca asked looking directly into her daughters eyes.

"Yes" Finley answered.

"And he doesn't pressure you at all?" Beca asked again.

"No ma'am." Finley answered maturely.

"And you" Beca stopped and sighed, "love this"

"Mom!" Finley snapped towards Chloe again thinking her mother was going to insult her boyfriend again.

"What?" Beca said after Chloe smacked her lightly on the arm. "I was going to say, you love this kid?" she said defensively.

"I don't know" Finley answered honestly. "Maybe. I'm not sure."

Beca nodded. "Okay" She said calmly. "That's okay. Sex doesn't always have to be about love. But that doesn't mean you should just be doing it with anyone who passes by."

"Oh God. Mom please" Finley begged. "Please stop."

"Let her get it out baby" Chloe said hushing the teenage brunette.

"And, you shouldn't be watching porn to learn how to have sex" Beca added glaring at her son. "You should be watching porn to get off or something."

"Beca!" Chloe said loudly.

"Oh God." Finley covered her face at her mother's slip up.

"Please kill me." Bash said as he closed his eyes and wished to be somewhere else completely.

* * *

 **AN: Just an weird idea that floated into my brain. Meant to be funny and meant to be a one shot but I'd still love to hear what you guys though. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Public Service Announcement: Below is the result of being trapped in my house for the last 24ish hours as the city that I live in is literally frozen. While that doesn't bother most of the country ... it ain't no good for us Houstonians. We don't do well with ice. So I typed this out quickly at some point last night after going a little crazy from the feeling of being trapped in my house. Then I crashed hard ... hibernated really, and just woke up. I'm gonna post it but fair warning there isn't a follow up. It's a one off in my favorite universe. Anyway, now I'm gonna have pancakes and go back to bed for a while.**

* * *

Beca caught the door with her hand and pushed it back open just before it slammed in her face. She sighed as she entered the house with her son right behind her. The sound of a slamming door echoed down from the second story of their Malibu home.

"Are you hungry Bud?" Beca asked as she turned towards her 8 year old son.

He nodded as he slung his backpack on top of the kitchen table.

Beca opened the cabinet looking for some sort of snack. She stood in front of the pantry thinking about Finley and what she was going to say to her once she got Sebastian settled with his homework and his snack. Chloe was always better at this. At the talking part and the thought of waiting for her wife, who was stuck in traffic, to get home before speaking to their oldest child sounded like a reasonable option but she was the adult. She could do it. Beca looked down as she felt Bash brush past her leg and reach for a small bag of chips that sat on a low shelf.

"I got it." Bash said as he retreated back to the table snack in hand.

"Sorry." Beca mumbled as she watched him climb into the chair and carefully pull the bag of chips open at the ends the way she'd taught him after several instances of chips flying everywhere. She closed the pantry door and rested her forehead against it as the afternoon past through her mind. Everything happened so quickly. One minute she was working in the studio at 20/20 and the next she's on the phone with a panicked Chloe.

 **FLASHBACK**

 _"_ _Chloe. Take a breath" Beca said loudly interrupting her wife who was talking so loud and so fast she couldn't keep up with redhead but Chloe didn't stop. After a few more seconds Beca heard Aubrey in the background and then she heard some rustling on the phone, then silence, then Aubrey's voice._

 _"_ _Beca?" Aubrey questioned._

 _"_ _Bree. What the fuck is going on?" Beca asked loudly._

 _Beca heard Aubrey take a long breath and she could hear Chloe crying in the background. "While we were in a production meeting, Chloe got a call from Janice Reynolds."_

 _"_ _Hayley's mom?" Beca questioned._

 _"_ _Yes." Aubrey confirmed. "She told Chloe she found some letter's in Hayley's room."_

 _"_ _Letters?" Beca said to herself as Aubrey continued,_

 _"_ _They were from Bruce Richards"_

 _The name immediately sent shockwaves through Beca's body and her ears were ringing loudly._

 _"_ _Are you sure" Beca heard Aubrey say and then the shuffling sound again and then Chloe's voice, "Beca?" Chloe asked sadly._

 _It took Beca a couple of seconds but she was able to softly reply. "Yeah."_

 _"_ _The letters were addressed to Finley." Chloe began to explain. "Janice said she didn't know who Bruce Richards was but she read the letters and they …" Chloe's voice broke, "he wants to meet her. He wants to meet his grand-daughter."_

 _"_ _How?" Beca chocked out._

 _"_ _I don't know. Janice didn't read me the letters but I'm guessing he's" Chloe started but Beca interrupted._

 _"_ _No. How did he find her?" Beca asked, her mind spinning._

 _"_ _I don't know" Chloe breathed. "Where are you?" Chloe asked._

 _"_ _20/20" Beca answered quickly as she looked around at her sound board. With a few quick clicks her work was saved and her keys were in her hand as she strode through the room towards the door._

 _"_ _Can you go get her? From school?" Chloe asked. "I'm heading back but we are already stuck in traffic. I just want our babies home."_

 _"_ _I'm already on my way." Beca confirmed as she glanced over to Kelce as she left the building. "I'll meet you at home." Beca said as she hung up the phone before she could hear Chloe speak again._

 **PRESENT**

"You okay Bash?" Beca asked turning towards her son who was doing his homework quietly at the table while snacking on chips. She watched him nod his head affirmatively. "I'll be upstairs with your sister. Mom's on her way home okay?"

"Kay" the small voice replied to her.

Beca paused at the table and bent down to place a soft kiss on top of the boy's hair. "You know how much your mom and I love you and your sister right?" Beca asked. At one point on the ride back from school, after she'd stopped at Janice Reynolds house to collect the letters, she'd glanced back to Sebastian who sat in the back seat of their SUV next to his sister. He sat with wide eyes and a confused look on his face. He'd been abruptly pulled out of school and then his mama and his sister were arguing with each other.

"I know." He said without looking up from his paper.

"I'm sorry I yelled." Beca apologized. "In the car. I shouldn't have lost my temper and yelled at your sister."

"I know mom but I think you should be apologizing to Fin." The boy said softly looking up at her with Chloe's blue eyes before returning them to his school work.

"I know." Beca acknowledged, "And I'm going but I just wanted to make sure that you know, that I love you."

He didn't answer. He just nodded.

"And you can tell me anything." Beca added. She'd gone through a range of emotions in the last couple hours since Chloe called. She was pissed off at Bruce Richards for contacting Finley. She was scared of what might be in the letters. She was angry at herself. Angry that she had no idea Quinn's father had somehow contacted Finley. And she felt guilty. She wasn't sure why but for whatever reason, Finley didn't feel like she could tell her or apparently her wife.

"I know mom." Sebastian answered.

Beca stood up tall. She knew that voice. He had more to say. "Whatever it is that you want to say right now Bash … you can tell me." She encouraged.

She watched the young boy shrug. "I just think it's hard for Fin sometimes."

"How do you mean?" Beca asked.

Sebastian looked up at Beca. His bright blue eyes filled with tears that were threatening to spill over and run down his cheeks.

"It's okay baby." Beca said softly as she reached for his face with her hands.

Sebastian blinked and the liquid fell quickly. "She told me" he said through tears, "she told me that she doesn't know how but she misses her moms."

Beca cocked her head to one side.

"Her real moms." He whispered as he tried to lower his head in the shame of giving his sister's secret away but Beca held his head up and gently placed her lips to his forehead as she worked to compose herself so she would cry the tears she felt building. He hiccupped, "she doesn't know why she feels like that. But she said she feels sad sometimes."

"It's okay Bash." Beca said trying to comfort the boy.

"She's going to be mad I told you. I promised I wouldn't." He cried.

"I won't tell her okay." Beca pulled her lips from his head and looked at him straight in the eyes. "I promise I won't okay? Then she won't be mad at you. It will just be our litter secret." She promised.

He nodded gently.

Minutes later she was standing outside Finley's bedroom door. Beca took a deep breath before reaching for the door handle. She pushed it down and slowly pushed the door open. The eleven year old was curled up on her bed with a set of Beats headphones on. Beca left the door open and crossed the room quickly. She sat on the bed and reached for her daughter's foot.

Finley steadied herself. She felt the bed dip and then her mom gently shaking her leg. At least she's not yelling at me she thought as she rolled over to her back and pushed the headphones down off her ears.

"What's going on Fin?" Beca asked surprising herself at how calm her voice sounded.

Finley shrugged quickly.

Beca reached around to her back pocket and pulled out the letter's addressed to Finley. The letters she'd retrieved from Janice Reynolds house. The letters that were hidden in Hayley's room. Letter's that Finley had trusted her best friend to hide for her. Beca placed the letters down on Finley's bed and watched as the dark haired girl pushed herself up to sit up against the headboard.

"Can you explain this to me?" Beca questioned. It wasn't as calm as before and she internally winced at the sound of her own voice.

Finley shrugged her shoulder's quickly again.

"I swear to God Finley if you do that one more time" Beca said quickly but stopped just as quickly. "Why can't you just tell me?"

"Why?" Finley spat loudly. "So you can yell at me some more? So you can ground me or whatever? If you're going to do it just do it." Finley challenged.

Beca was working hard to control her emotions. "How did he find you?" Beca questioned.

"I found him."

Beca's blood ran cold at the revelation. She felt as if she was punched in the gut. She thought for a second she could see remorse on Finley's face but it stilled instantly and the 11 year olds scowl was back immediately. Beca could barely produce enough saliva to speak. "Why?"

"Because he's my family." Finley answered.

Beca pushed herself up from her daughter's bed. As if she couldn't be that close to her at the moment. The child's words were hurting her too much. She needed the distance.

Finley didn't know why she kept hurting her mom. She knew she was in trouble. She knew from the moment she wrote Bruce Richards a letter explaining who she was that she was in trouble. The day she stole a stamp from her mom's purse, she stuffed the letter in her backpack. It took her two more weeks to work up the courage to drop it in the outgoing mailbox at school. She knew as soon as her finger's let the envelope slide down into the mail shoot she was in big trouble. Almost a week later when Hayley ran up to her at school and shoved a letter in her face, the one that she asked Mr. Richards to mail to her best friend's house because it was Hayley's job to check the mail at their house daily, she knew she was in big trouble. But she continued to correspond with the man. She knew if either of her mother's ever found out that she'd be in the most trouble she'd ever been in but she also knew that it would hurt them. She never wanted to do that so she kept it a secret. Just her and Hayley knew. And Hayley was hiding the letters in her room. She was safe … at least she thought she was.

"He's not your family." Beca whispered. "You don't even know him."

"Whose fault is that?" Finley screamed. She thought that if she just kept on the offensive that she could buy herself some time. Some time to figure out how to explain this. Some time to figure out how to apologize to her mothers.

"We made a decision." Beca whimpered. She had no idea why she was being attacked by her daughter. Her daughter who had pent up anger. "He was never in Quinn's … your mom's" Beca swallowed hard and felt as small as she'd ever felt in her life, "life. We just thought it was best to leave it that way for you too." Beca said quickly.

"You should have asked me" Finley said as she stood off her bed quickly. "I should have been the one to decide."

"You're a child Finley." Beca scolded, finally finding her voice. "You have no idea what you're trying to decide. You have no idea what kind of a man he actually is. You have no idea what you're doing." Beca voice was raised.

"No!" Finley shouted. "You have no idea."

Chloe entered the house quickly. She made her way through the entry and paused when she saw Sebastian sitting at the table. She was on her way to greet him when loud voices and shouts carried down the stairs. She dropped her keys and purse on the counter and took the steps two at a time.

"You have no idea what it's like to be me" Finley screamed at the top of her lungs.

"What are you even talking about Finley?" Beca questioned shaking her head.

"I'm not like you alright!" Tears were falling freely from the dark brown eyes. "I need to know who I am and you can't help me. Only they can help me but they aren't here. They're dead!" Finley cried loudly.

"So what do you want me to do?" Beca yelled back. She felt completely helpless.

"Don't you get it?" Finley yelled. "I don't want you to do anything."

"Then what?" Beca asked. "What is all this for?"

"I want to go live with Aunt Kate." Finley knew she didn't want that. She didn't want to leave her mom's. She loved them. She loved them more than anything in the world and she loved her brother but she was trying to protect herself from the punishment she knew was seconds away. At least at the moment she was prolonging the inevitable. It was self-preservation at its worst.

"No fucking way" Beca scoffed. It was raw and unfiltered but she meant it. "There is no fucking way you're doing that."

"You're not my mom. You can't tell me what to do!" Finley screamed as she ran out of the room past her redheaded mother who stood shocked in the doorway of the room.

Beca flinched when she heard the bathroom door down the hall slam. Her left hand flew to her mouth as she tried to hold in the sob that was trying desperately to come out of her body. She felt arms wrap around her tightly.

"It's okay" Chloe cooed in her ear. "She didn't mean that and you know it."

Beca wanted to believe that. She wanted to believe that a kid couldn't destroy her. Wanted to believe that her kid couldn't destroy her. But the look in Finley's eyes when those words came out of her mouth were hard to disbelieve. She felt Chloe's hands grab her by the arms and turn her around before pulling her into her. Red Curls covered her face as she cried.

"What's going on?" Chloe whispered.

Beca took a deep breath trying to steady herself. "She … she contacted him."

"What?" Chloe pushed Beca away by the arms to look into her broken face.

Beca shrugged and then had to fight the laughter away at the realization. It was the same gesture that Finley had given to her. She same one that had driven her crazy. "I don't know Chloe." Beca mumbled.

"Okay" Chloe stilled herself. "I'm going to go talk to her and bring her back in here and we are going to talk about this as a family. Okay?"

Beca nodded.

Chloe left Beca sitting on the Finley's bed. She looked down and straightened out her shirt before clearing her throat to compose herself and knock on the bathroom door.

"Go away" came from a much smaller, less confident voice on the other side of the door.

"Open the door baby." Chloe said gently. She took a step back and waited patiently.

The door slowly opened and Chloe immediately stepped forward and pulled the young girl into her body as Finley cried so hard that her body shook.

"I'm sorry" Finley mumbled into her mama's stomach. She grasped for something to hold onto as her mother held her tight. She finally settled on grabbing a bunch of Chloe's shirt, balled up in her small hands as she clung to her mama.

"I know baby" Chloe said softly. "I know."

"Mom hates me." Chloe's heart broke as the words poured out of Finley's mouth.

"No" Chloe said as she stooped down to Finley's height, which wasn't actually much shorter than her and Beca's. "She does not. Don't you ever for one second … ever … think that." Chloe looked directly into the dark brown eyes.

"But I was so mean" Finley replied quickly as tears continued to coat her face. Her eyes enlarged and she pulled back even more as her small head shook from side to side, "I didn't mean it. I' didn't mean it."

Chloe pulled the girl back into her and held her tight. "I know baby. I know. Mom knows too." She said trying to comfort her daughter.

Chloe held the 11 year old until her breathing calmed. She pulled away from Finley, who was still crying but much more controlled, "We need to go and talk to mom."

Finley nodded. She grabbed on to Chloe's hand. Something she couldn't remember doing for a while. She was eleven now. She didn't need to hold her mom's hand, she wasn't a baby, she wasn't Sebastian she thought as she walked through the hallway and back to her room.

Chloe cleared her throat and Beca's head immediately rose.

"We should all talk." Chloe said as she led Finley into the room.

Beca stood from the bed and wiped her hands on her jeans. "Yes but" Beca said looking away from Chloe and towards Finley, "I'm sorry that I raised my voice and that I didn't listen to you in the car." Beca apologized first. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I shouldn't have."

Before Finley could say anything back Chloe interrupted her. She was happy that Beca apologized and took responsibility for losing her cool as the adult and parent but whatever Finley was doing and whatever she was hiding was wrong and the little girl wasn't going to get off scott-free. And the words that Chloe did hear coming from her daughter, towards her wife, were something she would make sure that Finley apologized for. "You shouldn't have" Chloe said gently in her wife's direction, "but I can imagine that you're scared to death. Just like I am" Chloe admitted as she gently squeezed Finley's hand. She walked the little girl over to her desk and pulled out the chair, which Finley sat in across from her parents who settled on the edge of her bed.

Chloe turned her attention away from Beca and to Finley. "What's going on bug?" She asked as she reached for the papers that laid next to her on the bed. They were obviously the letters Janice Reynolds called her about.

It was time to come clean. Finley took a deep breath, "I've been feeling weird lately." Finley's eyes dropped to her lap. "Different." She looked up at her parents expecting them to speak but they sat quietly on her bed, hand in hand, waiting for her to continue. "So I've been looking up stuff about mom … Quinn" she corrected herself, "lately. And not just her but I've been talking to Aunt Kate about Emma too. But I found his name online and eventually found his address. So I wrote him a letter."

"Why?" Beca whispered. She wanted to understand.

"I don't know how to explain it." Finley said quickly.

"It's okay baby. Just try." Chloe encouraged.

"I just miss them." Tears formed again in Finley's eyes. "And I don't know …" She said through her cry, "But when I look in the mirror I wonder if this is what Quinn looked like when she was little. Did she have this weird nose and these huge brown eyes?"

Chloe's heart broke into pieces as her daughter spoke. She felt Beca release her hand and move quickly to their daughter. She watched as Beca scooped the little girl out of the chair and held her tightly to her chest. Comforting her. "You're absolutely perfect." She heard Beca whisper to Finley. "You're so beautiful."

Beca carried Finley back over to the bed and sat her in between her and Chloe.

Chloe pulled Finley's brown hair back from her shoulders and dropped her head down pressing her cheek to the girls as she wrapped her arms around her tightly. "Why did you try to find him?" Chloe questioned.

"I thought he could tell me about her when she was my age." Finley answered.

"He can't baby." Beca said soothingly.

"That's what he said. He said he didn't know her very well and that her mother kept him from her." Finley said looking up at Beca for confirmation.

"Quinn's mom" Beca said sharing a look with Chloe who nodded gently. "She had a lot of problems honey. I think she tried her best but she and Mr. Richards never really had a relationship." Beca tried to explain.

Finley looked down as she tried to reconcile the information.

"He said that we could be friends." Finley said softly.

Chloe let go of her daughter and reached back to pick up the stack of papers that sat on the bed. She cringed at the sight of the grown man's handwriting. The idea of secret correspondence between her daughter and a stranger sent horrible chills through her body. Whether he was her birth grandfather or not, it was inappropriate.

"Do you want to be friends with him?" Beca asked softly. She saw Chloe's head pop up out of her peripheral.

Finley shrugged again, but this time the action held much less venom. "Not really. I just wanted to know more about her."

"Why didn't you ask us?" Beca questioned. "I know we didn't know your mom when she was your age but we can help you find out."

"I know you don't mean to and you try to hide it but you always get so sad when I ask about them" Finley said softly. Her brown eyes pleading for forgiveness.

Beca shook her head at herself. "I'm so sorry baby."

Finley lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Beca. Her small arms holding her mom tightly. "I didn't mean it." Finley cried. "I don't want to leave. I love you and I'm so sorry." She cried.

"I know baby" Beca's eyes met Chloe's as she pleaded for help before she totally lost it and cried all over their daughter.

Chloe took a steading breath as she shuffled through the papers in her hand. "Fin." She said sternly. "You can't do this kind of stuff baby. It's dangerous." Chloe warned as Beca and Finley pulled out of their embrace. "We don't know Mr. Richards. All we know is what Quinn told us and she didn't want him in her life." Chloe said with a sad face, "and she didn't want him in yours."

Finley nodded slowly.

"And you're going to have to accept that." Chloe said in her best parent voice. "This can never happen again young lady."

"Yes ma'am." Finley said as she dropped her head.

"Your mom and I" Beca said interjecting and looking between Chloe and Finley, "will talk about your punishment."

Chloe nodded softly.

"You can't hide things from us Finley and you deliberately went behind our backs. I know you know that is wrong." Beca said looking down at her daughter.

"I know." Finley said sadly. "And I'm sorry. I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway."

"Okay." Beca whispered. "Go get cleaned up and then bring your homework downstairs." Beca instructed.

"Okay" Finley nodded as she stood from the bed and left the room again, heading for the bathroom to wash her face.

Once the girl was out of the room, Chloe turned back towards Beca with fear in her eyes. "What are we going to do about this?" She said holding up the papers.

"I'll take care of him" Beca said as she pulled the letters out of Chloe's hand.

"And with Fin?" Chloe asked.

Beca's eyes widened. "I have no fucking clue." She admitted. "I feel like complete shit for missing this. How could we not know she was struggling?"

"She's 11 baby. And she's a mature 11. She knows how to hide things from us." Chloe said as she scooted towards Beca to rest her head on Beca's shoulder. "Just wait till she's a teenager."

"Oh my God. No." Beca said quickly. "I won't be able to handle it."

"You have no choice honey." Chloe replied quickly.

"Fuck me" Beca whined.

* * *

 **AN 2: Review/Comment if you want...**


	3. Chapter 3

**THERE ARE MOMENTS THAT THE WORDS DON'T REACH**

 ** _FLASHBACK_**

"You want to what?" Beca asked softly her mind reeling. She knew that the temperature in the room hadn't changed in the last 20 seconds but she suddenly felt hot. She felt like the entire restaurant's heating system had been turned on full blast and every single vent was pointed in her direction.

"Okay. Calm down. Take a breath." Chloe said steadily. Her eyes drifting from Beca's to glance around the crowded restaurant. She wasn't sure what Beca's next move was going to be. It could be anything from raising her voice to make a verbal scene. It could be that her wife would just simply get up and leave or by the looks of Beca's face, she could pass out or throw up at any moment. She was relieved when Beca reached for her water glass.

The cool water filled her mouth and helped to cool her instantly. And also buy her some time as thoughts continued to swirl in her brain. She wasn't expecting this type of talk when her wife asked her out for a date night to discuss 'grown up' things, as Chloe had put it. Well, that wasn't the whole truth. She was expecting something like this but not specifically this. She took a large gulp and pulled the cold glass away from her face, disappointed that it was already empty.

Chloe watched Beca sat her now empty water glass down and reach for her full wine glass empting it just as quickly.

"Okay" Chloe drew out. "I don't know why you're freaking out. We've talked about having another baby before."

Beca swallowed the last of the red wine and sat her glass down a little too heavily, effectively shaking everything on the table. "Yes we did." She agreed with a hiss.

"Then what's the issue?" Chloe asked cautiously.

"You want to have Quinn's baby." Beca said slowly.

"Please don't be weird about this." Chloe begged softly.

Beca sat back in her chair and folded her hands gently in her lap. She watched Chloe watch her from across the table. She could see how uncomfortable her wife was becoming the longer the air between them remained silent.

"Please say something." Chloe requested nervously.

"4 months ago when you mentioned that you wanted to talk about having another baby … I just assumed" Beca paused choosing her words carefully, "We'd pick a donor like last time. Or maybe even use the same one." Beca stopped speaking and smiled up to the waiter who chose this moment to refill her water and wine glass.

Chloe was the first to speak after he left their table. "And 4 months ago, I thought so too."

"Then where did this come from?" Beca asked reaching for her wine glass be deciding last minute that water was probably a better option.

"After Principle Hawkins called us to the school because Fin got in that fight." Chloe said softly hoping that would be enough to explain her reasoning.

"For hitting that little shit Corey?" Beca asked remembering the incident at the school.

Chloe's eyes instinctively rolled. Beca loved Fin and she loved Sebastian but she wasn't 100 % sure Beca even liked other people's children. She seemed to tolerate Brady Swanson but that's just because Finley and Brady were becoming increasingly inseparable. "Yes. Since then" Chloe took a slow breath, "since then I've been wishing there was some way Finley could see herself in someone else. And she can babe. We can give that to her."

Beca listened intently to her wife.

"I want to give that to her." Chloe said softly as she reached across the table and laced her fingers with Beca's right hand.

"So we just …" Beca asked as she entertained the thought. It was hard to totally dismiss it with the look Chloe was currently sporting on her face.

Chloe smiled quickly as she began, "I called Mr. George."

"You called the lawyer?" Beca asked quickly and a little too loudly. She looked around to the nearby tables and smiled at a couple of looks she received, then leaned back in towards Chloe, "You called the lawyer?"

"Yes." Chloe replied quickly. "I needed to make sure this was possible."

"And is it?" Beca asked.

"Yes. He called the fertility clinic that Quinn and Emma used and they have everything. Quinn's eggs and the donor sperm still frozen and ready to go just in case they wanted to have another baby. So Finley can have a brother or a sister. A blood relative." Chloe explained.

"So we are going to just waltz into the baby bank and ask to have you impregnated with someone's donor sperm and our dead friend's eggs?" Beca asked sarcastically.

"Oh my God, you're such an ass sometimes" Chloe said with a short laugh. "And no, jerk" She stopped laughing, "According to Mr. George, those are now our eggs and our sperm."

"Gross" Beca mumbled.

"They were left to us in the will. We can do with them what we want." Chloe said sitting back in her chair. She reached for her wine glass and brought it to her mouth as she waited for Beca to think.

It surprised them both how quickly Beca agreed. The simple "Let's do it." Set the rest of the night's conversation in motion after a few quick kisses across the table.

 **XxXxXx**

 **PRESENT**

Beca had never been so glad that Jesse and Aubrey lived close to them. It was so convenient for them to drop Fin and Bash off at the Swanson's when something had come up or when they just needed an adult night. And vice versa. She and Chloe had spent their fair share of nights going through Brady's back pack full of movies that he wouldn't stop rambling on and on about … just like his dad. But when she called Aubrey to ask if they could take the kids for a couple of days, she barely had time to finish explaining before Aubrey was ordering her to bring them to her house immediately.

And now as she pulled back into the garage of their Malibu home, she leaned her head back on the headrest and allowed herself to close her eyes for a few valuable seconds. It was time she needed to collect herself but instead of being able to clear her mind, the night at the restaurant when they decided to have another baby ran through her mind. The look on Chloe's face when she'd agreed. The next few days it seemed it was all Chloe could talk about. She'd set up her appointment with her OBGYN for a consultation. She had Mr. George make the arrangement with the fertility clinic and within two weeks she was given a clean bill of health and the okay from her doctor. A week after that she was at the clinic and she was implanted with two of Quinn's fertilized eggs. They'd agreed that at the very most they only wanted twins so they would limit the number of eggs Chloe would be fertilized with at a time.

Beca sighed as she reached for the handle of her car and opened the door. The last couple of days had been exhausting and she knew the next few would be just a bad and it would probably be horrible for a long time after that. She didn't really know but she knew she couldn't avoid it. Chloe needed her help and she'd be there for her wife. She'd promised. Good times. And Bad.

The house was silent as she walked through it. She knew she wouldn't be walking into a lively house but she expected to hear the sound of the TV or some music playing. She thought she remembered leaving music on when she rushed out of the house this morning but now it was silent. She quickly checked all the rooms of the house and didn't see Chloe. She knew she had one left to check. The one she had no intention of walking into for the unforeseeable future. But now she didn't have a choice.

Chloe knew the question was inevitable. Someone was going to ask her, so as soon as Beca dropped her off at home before quickly leaving to leave Fin and Bash with Bree and Jesse, Chloe's feet took her upstairs and down the hallway to the last room on the left. The room that was set to be the nursery. She made her way inside as she tried to think of how to answer the question. 'How are you feeling?' Someone was bound to ask her. But as she searched her soul on the way home for the answer to that she couldn't actually feel anything. So she kept searching. When Beca reached across the center console on the way home to hold her hand, she'd pulled it away slowly. Not because she was angry with Beca. She had no reason to be but because it was distracting. She could feel Beca's warm hand in her cold one. She could feel Beca gently squeeze her fingers around hers and then suddenly that's all she could feel. So she pulled away so that she could try to answer that question. 'How are you feeling?' She wanted to have an answer when someone asked her, because they would.

She sat down on the carpet in the middle of the blank room. They'd agreed that they would find out if the baby was going to be a boy or a girl. They wanted to be prepared this time. Clothes ready. Nursery decorated. Toys. Everything. And it was all going well. 4 weeks ago, the look on both Finley and Sebastian's face when they heard the baby's heartbeat at the routine ultrasound was priceless. She'll never forget it. And she'll never forget the smile that was on Beca's face. It almost made her heart hurt because it was so filled with happiness. With love.

She saw that same smile fade yesterday when at the 10th week ultrasound, the doctor couldn't find the fetal heartbeat. She could see Dr. Pollard scrabbling quickly, knowing instantly that he knew something was terribly wrong. She watched the realization hit Beca. She watched her wife pick up their children and leave the room quickly. She stared at that door while the doctor and nurses moved around her. She wasn't sure if Beca would come back but less than a minute later the door swung open and before she knew it Beca was at her side and was holding her hand tightly. She was kissing her forehead and whispering words to her. But Chloe didn't hear it. All the sound in the room was muffled. She saw the doctor explaining things to Beca. She saw Beca nodding gently and watched as a tear fell from her face. That's when everything suddenly rushed back and Chloe could hear again. People were moving slower and she could once again breath.

"The baby stopped growing approximately 2 weeks ago." Dr. Pollard explained. "I'm so sorry." He said again as he looked between the two of them. "A missed miscarriage isn't very common, especially after a successful live birth." He said trying to offer them some sort of comfort. "There usually aren't any indications of a miscarriage with this sort of thing. So this is nothing that either of you could have missed." Chloe heard his words again in her head as she sat looking around at the blank walls.

She heard the door close and knew Beca was back. She knew Beca would eventually find her so she needed an answer to that question because Beca loved her. She would want to know how she's feeling but the problem was she still didn't feel anything. She'd just lost a child. Shouldn't she be feeling a million things? How can she not be feeling one?

Beca pushed the door open all the way and saw Chloe sitting on the floor, her legs crossed underneath her, as she looked around. She had no idea what to say. She couldn't imagine what Chloe was going through.

Yesterday her wife was completely emotionless. Even when they were checking into the hospital at Dr. Pollard's recommendation for D&C to remove the fetus. Chloe had barely said anything. It was usually an outpatient procedure but the doctor had talked them into one night of observation at the hospital. Chloe had insisted that Beca bring the kids home. So she did. And she woke them up bright and early the next morning and drug them back to the hospital to pick up her wife. But she could tell that Chloe hadn't slept a wink all night. And truthfully neither had she but she would have thought that being in the hospital the nurses would have given her something to help her sleep.

Chloe could feel Beca in the room. She didn't need to turn around to know she was there. She suddenly felt the need to apologize. "I'm sorry" fell from her mouth heavily. It was the first thing she'd said in almost two days. She hadn't spoken to anyone since the doctor asked her if she was ready when he rolled up her shirt and squirted the cold ultrasound gel on her stomach. After that she'd waited for the fast beat of the infant's heart which never came.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Beca said quickly as she moved slowly towards Chloe. She dropped down to her knees behind her wife. "This is not your fault. It's no one's fault." Beca said as she softly placed her hands on Chloe's shoulders praying it would comfort her wife.

Beca's hands on her shoulders felt like they weight a thousand pounds each. She held her breath and she waited for Beca to ask her how she was feeling. She was dreading it because she still didn't have an answer. She wasn't feeling anything except for the weight of Beca's hands on her shoulders. It was somehow so heavy and yet somehow so comforting. It felt like she'd been floating outside her body for the last two days unable to understand how this was happening to her. To them. But now she felt grounded. She felt like Beca was holding her down so she couldn't keep floating farther away.

Beca wasn't sure how long they sat like that. Without words. She knew it was a long time because the light streaming in from the window was changing. She didn't know what to say to Chloe. She didn't know what she was supposed to say and what not to say so not saying anything was her best option. And Chloe didn't flinch or pull away when she put her hands on her shoulders so she chose not to move. This position was okay with Chloe so it was okay with her and she'd stay this way as long as Chloe wanted her too.

"Are you going to ask me?" Chloe whispered. Her voice was so dry and rough from not speaking.

"Ask you what?" Beca asked softly.

"How I'm feeling?" Chloe sighed. She wanted to turn and look at her wife but she was afraid of what she'd see. Would she see anger or sadness or worse … disappointment?

"Do you know how your feeling?" Beca asked quickly. "Because I have no idea how I'm feeling" She admitted just as quickly. "So I can't even imagine what you're going through. So no. I'm not going to ask you. But know that I'm here. And when you know and when you're ready to talk … I'll be here. But until then, I'm not going to push you. I'm just going to be here for you."

Chloe closed her eyes. She felt them fill with tears at the sound of Beca's voice ringing through the room. It was filling with love and honesty. She was relieved she wouldn't have to lie or hide her feelings from the one person she needed most in the world. Beca's words wrapped around her like a blanket. It was exactly what she needed to hear from her wife. What she was feeling or not feeling was okay. She felt tears streaking down her cheeks.

"I think it's okay that we don't know." Beca sighed. She could feel the gentle bounce in Chloe's shoulders. She knew the flood gates had finally opened and she was okay with it. She knew Chloe needed to cry. She knew Chloe would probably cry for a while. "I don't know what to do." Beca admitted. "I don't know how to fix … this."

Chloe sobbed.

Beca was afraid to move. Afraid to push Chloe past what she was comfortable with at the moment. The sounds of her wife crying were painful to listen too. Her already broken heart was breaking by the second and she don't know how to make it better. She didn't know how to ease Chloe's pain.

Chloe reached up and pulled Beca's hands off her shoulders and wrapped them around her chest. She needed to be held tightly. That's all the comfort she needed. She didn't need words she knew Beca didn't have. She didn't need food or soft blankets or cozy socks or oversized sweatshirts or teddy bears or anything else that usually comforted her. All she needed was Beca.

Beca pressed her chest to Chloe's back and held her as tightly as she could. She managed to tip them slowly to the side so that they ended up spooning in the middle of the unfinished room. She pulled Chloe as close to her as she could and held her as tight as her arms would allow as her wife cried. Beca was determined to be strong. She didn't need Chloe to see her weakness in this moment. There would be time for her to grieve but this was Chloe's time. A few stray tears escaped Beca's eyes but she didn't make a sound. Each time her body betrayed her she held Chloe tighter or she intertwined their legs. Anything she could do to be closer to her wife. The room eventually fell dark and Chloe eventually stopped crying and fell asleep. But Beca didn't. She held the redhead all night … as tightly as she could … counting the love of her life's breaths … missing her kids … missing her best friends … missing the child she never got to meet but loved with all her heart.

* * *

 **AN** **:** **Not sure where this came from. I have no experience with this so I apologize in advance if I get this wrong or upset anyone. Also, just for reference, in this Finley is somewhere around age 6 or 7 and Bash would be 4 or 5.** **Hope that was okay and not horrible.**

 **SONG TITLE CRED: It's Quiet Uptown; Hamilton**


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